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Celebrating The Hairstyles of Nicolas Cage
By George 'El Guapo' Roush on August 20, 2008
Hollywood loves to celebrate its actors. It's a town filled with ass kissing and handshakes. Promises to do lunch and high fives when you've done your third line of coke at one of Brett Ratner's parties. One actor that should be celebrated is Nicolas Cage. We've all grown up watching Cage's movies. From drama to comedy to action, Nicolas has done it all. He's one of American cinema's greats and has always been a pleasure to watch on screen. But why is that? Is it his acting? His smile? His line delivery? While these things help, it's not the reason why people flock to theaters to see him on screen. No, ladies and gentleman, it's because in every movie, he's wearing a different hair I'm writing this article to celebrate the greatest hair Valley Girl (1983)  I'm not even sure if this is his real hair or a wig. This may be his real hair but it's too hard to tell. Ether way, it's a fantastic example of how much Supercuts loved to feather the shit out of a man's hair in the 80's. Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)  I know this picture makes him look like a yellow Marshmellow Peep, but it's the greatest photo of Nicolas Cage that has ever existed. When Jesus decides to come back he's going to have this hairstyle. I'm not sure if Nicolas is wearing the hair, or if the hair is wearing Nicolas. Either way, it's pretty fucking rad. Raising Arizona (1987)  I think it's at this point in Cage's career when the top of his head started to take a life of its own and begin shedding like a snake. I'm imagining Nicolas Cage in the shower, bent over as he's pulling out long strands of hair. Sort of like the scene with Christine Taylor in The Craft when she starts to go bald from the curse the girls put on her. Wild at Heart (1990)  Nothing wrong with emulating Frankie Avalon's hair helmet technique. Red Rock West (1992)  Smart. Sophisticated. Cage's bangs are slowly creeping into Christian Slater territory. It almost looks like vines are growing out of his skull. Con Air (1997)  It was 1997's Con Air that officially put Nicolas Cage's hair into a category of its own. It looks like you could tie a string around his neck, take a running start, and the kite made of hair super glued on the back of his head will lift him into the air. Well, it lifts him alright. Right into our hearts. Adaptation (2002)  I'm pretty confident this is what Cage's hair normally looks like when he gets out of bed. For this role, no spray on hair or extensions were required. It was refreshing for Cage to let himself go free and naked for just one film. The Weather Man (2005)  I'm imagining Nicolas' real hair trapped underneath this wig and begging for oxygen. It looks like the wig is trying to suffocate Nicolas' real hair with the hopes of taking over his body. Then months later Nicolas goes into a hair salon and his alien hair leaps off of him and kills the poor unsuspecting hairstylist. Meanwhile, Nicolas is sitting in his chair looking at himself in the mirror and saying, "We will always be together, myyyy precious." Ghost Rider (2007)  What exists in real life? The Ghost Rider or Nicolas Cage's black hairdo that doesn't look like it was applied with double sided scotch tape? 95% of audiences polled picked The Ghost Rider. Next (2007)  It looks like a facehugger has attached itself to the back of Nicolas' head. Wrong side, you stupid facehugger! Bangkok Dangerous (2008)  Somewhere on a ranch in Montana, a horse cries silently when it wakes up and realizes its tail has been removed so it can be used as an accessory on Nicolas Cage's head. With Nicolas still a bankable box office star, his head of hair is only limited by his imagination. No matter the hairstyle, audiences will still be anticipating all of his future releases. Nicolas Cage, our combs salute you. Lather, rinse and repeat when you e-mail: george@latinoreview.com
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Comments
Bwahaha! Mon Oct 06 at 22:41 EST
Hilarious. I saw this same slide show on another site but w/out the entertaining commentary.
Author: BMunchausen | Permalink
The Cage Fri Sep 05 at 13:16 EST
I love the Cage. He floats my boat.
Author: Hollie | Permalink
you're a total douche bag...Cage rocks. Faggot.
Permalinknic Thu Aug 28 at 21:25 EST
cage is a total douchebag
Author: ky | Permalink
gota love him
PermalinkNurse L Thu Aug 28 at 01:31 EST
I love Nick Cage. I will steal him from his child bride.
Author: melissa | Permalink
Have to compare with Travolta hairworks, especially since Face Off...
Author: arthur | Permalink
wow! Wed Aug 27 at 09:55 EST
what about city of angles?... but i do have to say that ghost rider wasn't that bad! the darker the better!
Author: Amanda | Permalink
Oh geez Tue Aug 26 at 20:08 EST
I laughed so had I cried!
Author: Lindsay | Permalink
u Forgot Tue Aug 26 at 15:22 EST
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Author: Sean | Permalink
Where have I seen that hair before? Tue Aug 26 at 06:50 EST
It looks like he's got Tom Hanks' hair from The DaVinci Code.
Author: AndyDubs | Permalink
Nice... Fri Aug 22 at 19:48 EST
piece. The article I mean. I too have been very distracted with Cage's awful hair in his last few movies. I tend to like his movies, but his hair is stealing the spotlight.
PermalinkWhat about Bruce... Thu Aug 21 at 23:46 EST
Bruce Willis is also known for wearing a bunch of strange hair pieces in his movies. Some movies his hairpiece looks horrible. At least he's done a few movies completely bald. How about Brendan Fraser's hairpiece in Mummy 3. Yeah Hollywood loves an aging movie star and their love affair with hair pieces. They should give academy awards to the hair "fx" person.
Author: Kevmeister | Permalink
Watch the Hair! Thu Aug 21 at 10:30 EST
Well, for the lack of hair, Nic Cage makes up for it in his acting.......wait a minute, scratch that.....it amazes me that he is still getting acting gigs.
Author: Louie | Permalink
Not slow news at all; Nic's "hair" is something that has come to require deep analysis. Not sure how the National Treasure 2 rug missed this list, but there are so many to choose from. Great article!
Author: avoidz | Permalink
Big Teeth Thu Aug 21 at 08:30 EST
His bad hair is only there to distract everyone from Cage's other wacky facial feature, his huge choppers. The dude has some big F'n Teeth. Looks like the fake teeth that Matt Dillon had in "There is something about Mary".
Author: Chico Pistolita | Permalink
NIC COPPALA (CAGE) Thu Aug 21 at 08:12 EST
you forgot one of the best most recent ones...the WTF is up with that hair piece of NATIONAL TREASURE 2.....it seems like it was a bit too small, didnt fit on his head right...i still love his movies though
Author: Todd | Permalink
HUGE Forehead Thu Aug 21 at 07:04 EST
And his huge forehead is always there for us to stare at in bewilderment
Author: Atomic Popcorn | Permalink
Toupee All the way!! Thu Aug 21 at 06:57 EST
Cage is without a doubt the king of the toupee! I would like to see him team up with Vin Diesel in a Fast the the Furious sequel. Maybe they can call it: The Bald and the Balder!!! There is only one man who gives Cage a run for his money when it comes to fake hair and that's Samuel L. Jackson!!!
Author: Seymour Clearly | Permalink
hahaha Thu Aug 21 at 03:59 EST
very funny piece, i love the brash comedic angle added to these newer pieces. But yeah it goes to show motion picture hair stylists let their imagination run with them, especially when their actor in question's rug size is a well known industry basic.
Author: evilevlis | Permalink
lol Thu Aug 21 at 00:42 EST
looks like he hasnt age a bit
Author: !_! | Permalink
wow Wed Aug 20 at 22:26 EST
must be a slow news day
Author: sonny | Permalink