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Van Helsing To Helm G.I. Joe? Ram A Stake Through My Heart Right Now
By El Mayimbe on August 13, 2007
A pissed off El Mayimbe here...STEPHEN SOMMERS of THE MUMMY fame is going to direct GI JOE? Que que? Over the weekend a close source to the family told us that Mummy and Van Helsing director Stephen Sommers may have gotten the job to direct the film, and yes this report has been reported on two other sites but I just want to have a say on the matter. Again Sommers has been OFFERED to direct, meaning he might even pass. It gets better... They're combining both Elliot and Lovett's script and Skip Wood's script! I completely lost faith in G.I. JOE It's going to royally fucking suck! HASTA EL PROXIMO CAPITULO... ...YO SOY EL MAYIMBE! mayimbe@latinoreview.com AND Ryan the Irish Rican here wanting to put in my two cents. Why oh why if your script has so much trouble would the solution be to combine two crappy scripts? Why put so much faith in a script that features an evil character of Evil Dude? And why hire a director that is notorious for his big overblown movies full of crappy CGI? These are my questions but it seems that no one has any answers - it is simply the the reply to every question is "ME! ME! ME! BECAUSE I WANNA AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO STOP ME!" Yes it is as if the producers of the G.I. Joe movie have turned into Paris Hilton. First off I can't say anything more on the script situation than Mayimbe has already said. However growing up a G.I. Joe kid is hurts me to know that such an injustice is being done. Hey producers have you ever heard of a guy named Larry Hama? He's written like one or two or...two hundred G.I. Joe comics in his time. How about a script doctoring by him? Shit I'll write your damn script for free in a day and it'll still be better than what you got now. But Stephen Sommers as the director? Does anyone know their target audience? Anyone? It's like the thought process is, "Hmmm...we have a really shitty script that we are combining with another crappy script which can form MEGACRAP! Who can direct megacrap? Well Stephen Sommers has made some craptacular films! That Van Helsing is proof alone! Let's hire him!" G.I. Joe is not about the effects, it never has been. In my mind it is about blowing shit up. It's a flick that can be the opposite of Transformers because it is a monster toy movie that can actually be driven by its characters. Snake-Eyes, Lady Jaye, Flint, Scarlett, Duke, Roadblock, and many more each with their own identity that helps drive the team. They race off to fight Cobra that evil terrorist organization that wants to rule the world. Nearly right away this flick can have heart because as Americans we can relate more and more to the Joes struggle to fight terrorism. But this movie won't be about that at all, will it? It's going to be some crappy movie with a crappy director that everyone will look at and say "Why did they make it that way?" BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. Not because they wanted to listen to anyone or make something that can be a viable Hollywood property. No they wanted to go the "ME! ME! ME!" route and have no put two crappy scripts together and hired the guy who brought us Van Helsing. It's almost as if they want to make a shitty movie from the get-go. GREAT NEWS GUYS! You are doing a GREAT job! ryan@latinoreview.com
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